


Those stars in your eyes, for me?

by Alwaysevak2121



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Boys In Love, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Made For Each Other, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 14:34:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16097618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaysevak2121/pseuds/Alwaysevak2121
Summary: “If there’s one thing I could wish from the stars,  I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes.”Even is a bit down and Isak wishes he could see how amazing he really is. And that's what happens in Even's dream. He realises how Isak sees him.





	Those stars in your eyes, for me?

**Author's Note:**

> I was told by one amazing person that I should channel my feelings into writing and this happened :) I just love Isak and Even being so equally good to each other. 
> 
> I must say that I'm not valid to describe bipolar disorder so I hope mentions of it are not disrespectful.

Even has been a bit down lately, thoughts consuming him and the normal shine in his eyes quite not there. Sleeping too little and then too much, tiredness wearing him down, down, down. He hates it. Hates that he can’t always be his best self for Isak, for his sweet Isak who deserves everything and more. 

He rubs his eyes with frustration and tries to will the wetness behind his eyelids away. Stupid hot tears trying to find their way out and expose him. Even hears Isak’s footsteps coming closer from the kitchen and he tries to concentrate on being calm. Isak lingers silently in the doorway and when Even opens his eyes and takes a look at Isak he sees that silent question in his tender eyes. His eyes are asking: “How can I make your burden less heavy?”

Its just that it's Even who should make Isak’s life less heavy, he can’t stand the thought of weighing him down with him. Even tries to offer a wavering smile, tries to brush this darkness away but he should know by now that he cannot fool Isak, his boy can always see right through him. 

Isak comes closer to the bed where Even is sitting and puts their striped duvet more firmly over his shoulders. Then he takes Even’s hand gently but tightly in his own and asks him to follow him to their tiny balcony. Of course Even follows, where Isak goes, he goes. They stand there silently side by side and Isak is breathtakingly beautiful in the dim light, eyes shining when he looks at the stars above them. 

Even breaks the silence by whispering: “Do you ever wish I was better for you?” Isak is already looking at him, taking him in and catches the single tear that escapes gently with his finger. He then kisses Even’s wet eyes and cradles his face with his hands and says: “If there’s one thing I could wish from the stars, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes.”

That night when they go to sleep, it’s Even who is lying on Isak’s chest, breathing in the scent of his safe haven. He thinks about what Isak said, what he meant by seeing himself through his eyes, while Isak’s tender caresses lull him into sleep. 

****

He’s in the kitchen, making coffee to his boyfriend. He then feels Isak, hugging him from behind, yawning and rubbing his sleep warm face onto his shirt. Even turns around in his arms and kisses the bridge of his nose quickly before turning again in order to reach the steaming mug of coffee he made and hands it over to Isak.

“For me?” Isak asks and then Even sees it. The fondness in Isak’s eyes, like stars shining right towards him. He gasps before answering: “Why are you still surprised by that baby?” it’s not that he hasn't done it uncountable times, it’s become a habit to Even, waking up before Isak and making coffee to his sleepyhead of a boyfriend. It’s the cutest sight to have him coming to him all sleepy and warm and with a hint of his adorable grumpiness. For that sight he’s more than willing to do that and more.

Isak looks down for a second, perfect slight blush on his cheeks before looking up again. He looks like he's in awe that Even does this little thing for him, like it’s a big deal that someone cares for him that much. Fucking hell, how did he miss that look, those stars in Isak’s eyes. And just for a cup of coffee. He sure as hell will do that and more in the future too. 

 

The scene fades away and then they are outside, walking by the familiar streets of Oslo. It’s snowing and Even takes a look at Isak and huffs before grabbing his hand in his own and they stop. “What?” Isak asks and looks at Even’s now serious expression. “Baby it’s freezing here, you can’t leave the flat without proper clothing, how come you always forget?” Even asks and maybe there is a hint of fond amusement in his voice now. 

“Fuck, you know why I was in such a hurry this morning. It was a miracle I was in time at my class, Mr. Lets go shower together, i promise to be good”, Isak huffs. Even can’t help snorting when he answers: “Well it was good, wasn’t it?” “Oh my god Even, I can’t believe you! And so not the point”, Isak yells but Even can hear that he's trying to suppress a laugh.

Even then takes Isak’s both hands in his own and lifts them to his face and starts peppering kisses on them before grabbing Isak’s gloves from his own pocket. “Isn't it nice to have a boyfriend who happens to have your gloves with him too?” Even asks smiling. When he hears Isak's quiet “It is”, he takes a look at him and there they are, the stars in Isak's eyes again. Those eyes are saying that Isak really thinks Even is a good boyfriend. It makes Even silently promise to keep doing his absolute best in the future too. 

 

They are on their bed, breathing in the the same air, trading heavy sighs and quiet moans between kisses. Isak is pure gold under his fingertips, beautiful and strong. His Isak, moving inside of him, making every little piece of him yearn for him and Even is willing to give his all, he doesn't want to own a single cell that isn't marked by Isak. Even wants to be claimed by him inside out, thoroughly and he lets out a broken whimper when Isak asks him to look at him. 

And of course Even looks at him, how could he not when he's asking for it like that. There's not a thing he could deny for his love after all. And what a sight Isak is above him, all that beauty intertwined with him, looking at him with dark yet soft eyes like he's everything, in awe that Even trusts his body and soul in his hands. Stars shining ever so brightly in his eyes once again. 

Even wants nothing more than to give in entirely, he tries to tell with his eyes, with every touch that please, please take it all, there's nothing safer than being yours. So he keeps looking at Isak, looking at those stars and pulls him even closer, deeper inside of him in every possible level until those stars are blinding him. Until all he can hear is Isak’s broken “Even” before he turns into liquid in Isak’s embrace. 

 

Even’s head is buzzing, thoughts coming and going, it's hard to stay still and he knows he'll make Isak worry. Isak’s lying on their bed doing his homework and he lifts his eyes to Even and smiles: “I can always tell when you are watching me, what's up baby?” Even taps his foot on the floor in order to settle down and smirks: “Do I need a reason for it when I admire my boyfriend, huh? But honestly I feel a bit restless”, he admits. 

There is no fear, anxiety or annoyance in Isak's voice when he looks straight into his eyes and says: “Come here just for a second baby, okay?” And Even sits next to him and tries to let him concentrate but it’s hard to stay still and quiet. Isak takes his book and puts it on top of Even's knees and leans his head on Even's stomach and mumbles: “Could you play with my hair, it helps me to concentrate?” 

And Even is so in love, he knows Isak likes it when he plays with his hair but this is Isak giving him a way to be near to him and still do something and it makes him sigh softly. He lets his mind wonder while he tangles and untangles his fingers through Isak’s curls over and over again while his wise boy reads unbothered, sighing occasionally in the most adorable way. 

And Isak continues this, asking Even to do something for him, in order to calm him down. “Could you tell me those beautiful stories of yours, it’s easier to forget stress and exams when you talk me into sleep”, he asks climbing onto Even's chest. 

And that’s what he does, speaks out loud all of his ideas and storylines, keeps rambling whatever crosses his mind. And it’s not a surprise that all of his thoughts revolve around Isak somehow. Then Even happens to look down and those green stars are looking up to him mesmerized, like what he says makes somehow sense to Isak. Like his sometimes so restless body and mind are still something to hold on and hold dear. 

 

The scene changes, Even is still on their bed, but now it's him who is lying down. Under the blankets, trapped by his mind, his thoughts heavy like a concrete burden weighing him down. He just wants his mind to stop, let him be, let him rest. He drifts off to a restless sleep and he's quite not awake when he realises there is something different in the air, something more peaceful. 

It’s Isak, lying next to him, brushing his hair gently, just with his fingertips and Even stays still and lets himself enjoy it and be selfish. Those little caresses are the only thing to ground his mind enough to actually get some peaceful sleep for a change. So he sleeps. 

It must have been hours before Even stirs a bit, still drowsy but somehow more rested. He opens his eyes and is met by Isak's tender gaze. Even can't wrap his head around that sight. At his lowest moments, his skin all sweaty, hair unwashed, bruises under his eyes, Isak still looks at him like his something precious.

Isak kisses his forehead slowly and and says like it's obvious: “I'm so happy you exist baby”. And those words combined to those stars in Isak's eyes make Even reach for him. And in shelter of his boys’ arms he lets his tears wash away the shame, the feeling of being inadequate. He just exists. 

****

When Even wakes up he realises he's been latching onto Isak the whole night, still lying onto his chest. No wonder he's been dreaming about him all night long. Suddenly he remembers that all those moments happening in his dream are in fact actual memories. He has just been so caught up in his own overflooding feelings towards Isak, he’s somehow been missing out the other side of those moments, the side of Isaks feelings towards him. Have those stars really been there all that time?

Even carefully lifts his head a bit just to check out if his boy is still asleep and is immediately greeted by his very own green stars. He gasps and suddenly he can't be near enough to Isak. So he climbs rapidly further onto him, wraps his arms around him and squeezes so tight he makes Isak gasp surprised “Ughh”. 

“Fuck I love you baby”, Even mumbles onto Isaks skin so overwhelmed his head is spinning. “I'm glad”, Isak chuckles under him and squeezes him right back. Isak then turns them a bit so that they are facing each other lying on their sides, still attached to one and other, legs tangled and all. 

Isak keeps looking at him patiently not asking a thing, just smiles and then strokes a strand of hair from Even's forehead back behind his ear gently. Even blinks a few times and hears himself trying to form a sentence. He ends up rambling quietly: “Do you really think, I mean the way you look at me sometimes, even at the times when I have it bad, you look at me like I'm, like I'm something beautiful”. 

Isak then puts his hands on Even's cheeks to make sure he is looking right in his eyes and says firmly yet love in his voice: “Even Bech Naesheim, just so you know, you are beautiful. And I don't find just parts of you beautiful, no. I just love you, all of you. And there are days when I struggle to understand that I’m the one who gets to live this life with you, that I'm the one who gets to love you”. 

Isak strokes his face carefully when he continues: “ I need you to promise me something baby, okay? I need you to remember the way I look at you, that you are beautiful. I'm here to remind you though”, he smiles. And how could Even ever say no to that so he manages to whisper: “I promise I'll try”. “Yeah?” Isak asks with smile in his voice. “Yeah”. Even echoes and closes the distance between their lips and they kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to two amazing gems: 
> 
> My dear A, Thank you so much for showing me the world of Evak. There's no turning back now. Love you to the moon and back. Thank you for talking about Even kissing Isak's cold hands. 
> 
> @nessauepa You are such an inspiration, your words are pure magic. The way you write about Evak is beyond beautiful. Thank you so much for the inspiration and encouragement.


End file.
